Wow! How things can change in one month. Not even a month but almost.
I'm officially going to the Czech Republic to go to school to get my TEFL diploma so that I can teach english abroad. My step sister called me yesterday and told me that she received my tickets in the mail. I've paid but a minimal amount of my tuition and I am afraid that I wont have it all by the time I leave. I am trying to be fuggal but it is so hard when I use to living carefree. I'm worried about a plethora of things, but now that I have a goal, I think I am doing better mentally.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Nutz....That Simple Word is Not Enough to Encompass How I Feel...
Let's get it out in the open that I am pretty reserved with my feelings and for me to put this out into space is going to kill me. But I need and outlet bigger then what I've used already.
I had someone tell me they loved me today.
That person has known me for 1 week. Count that. One, Uno, Ena, won, 1!!!!!!
It's not possible...psycho babble bullshit is what it is. How is it even possible that I got hooked up with such a psycho? I am too forgiving of people. I let this person in when I knew there were, ARE, things that I do not like about this person....I let it happen. I know I am talking like some kind of rape victim but that was what it was like. I was raped of my inablity to stop such a fucked up thing happen.
I am such an emotional vaccuum. I can sense all sorts of stuff (emotions) and they in turn effect my mood. So, someone else already has an influence over me. Whether they know it or not. They can sap my emotions right out of me and replace them with whatever they like.
So, in reality his 'quote unquote' love' for me was replacing my initional emotions towards the situation....
Or I could be just as psycho and this is all some kind of justification...
I highly doubt it though.
I had someone tell me they loved me today.
That person has known me for 1 week. Count that. One, Uno, Ena, won, 1!!!!!!
It's not possible...psycho babble bullshit is what it is. How is it even possible that I got hooked up with such a psycho? I am too forgiving of people. I let this person in when I knew there were, ARE, things that I do not like about this person....I let it happen. I know I am talking like some kind of rape victim but that was what it was like. I was raped of my inablity to stop such a fucked up thing happen.
I am such an emotional vaccuum. I can sense all sorts of stuff (emotions) and they in turn effect my mood. So, someone else already has an influence over me. Whether they know it or not. They can sap my emotions right out of me and replace them with whatever they like.
So, in reality his 'quote unquote' love' for me was replacing my initional emotions towards the situation....
Or I could be just as psycho and this is all some kind of justification...
I highly doubt it though.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
7 Deadly sins....Let's hash over a couple....
I'm a glutton for punishment.
I'm gluttonous.
There is gluten in my food.
Ok, the last one is just a retarded sentence. I realized I didn't have all that many uses for the word GLUTtON that are relative to my life right now, or period actually, so I got goofy.
I'm gluttonous cause I think of food. ALOT. Not just a little but probably in the same way that men think about sex. God, if only I thought of sex instead of food. I'd probably be a bean pole of a chica. Not only for the factor of less food going into the old pie hole but if I'm thinking of sex more, there might be more in my life. Just a theory. I may have to do a clinical trial on this theory *coughs politely into hand, clears throat*
I'm a gluton for punishment....oh, lord, for so many reasons. Could I really sum it up in just a short paragraph without having to get into the intracacies of my brain at 2 in the morning on a school night?
No, not really...
But it was a rather stupid question to begin with.
Night and thanks for all the cookies...
*see food, again*
I'm gluttonous.
There is gluten in my food.
Ok, the last one is just a retarded sentence. I realized I didn't have all that many uses for the word GLUTtON that are relative to my life right now, or period actually, so I got goofy.
I'm gluttonous cause I think of food. ALOT. Not just a little but probably in the same way that men think about sex. God, if only I thought of sex instead of food. I'd probably be a bean pole of a chica. Not only for the factor of less food going into the old pie hole but if I'm thinking of sex more, there might be more in my life. Just a theory. I may have to do a clinical trial on this theory *coughs politely into hand, clears throat*
I'm a gluton for punishment....oh, lord, for so many reasons. Could I really sum it up in just a short paragraph without having to get into the intracacies of my brain at 2 in the morning on a school night?
No, not really...
But it was a rather stupid question to begin with.
Night and thanks for all the cookies...
*see food, again*
Monday, February 25, 2008
!Onward Prague!
I have been tossing around the idea (actually, I've decided. Just nerves keep me from commiting)of moving to the Czech Republic to get my cert in TEFL. I may not just stay in CR, I could go on from there and teach in Cyprus or Greece. I wouldn't have to stay there but I would like to stay there for at least a year.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
A Full Mind Is a Terrible Thing To Waste.
I say I have a full mind cause there is a lot on it.
Possible thing for me to do this summer:
1. Going to Czech Republic to go to school to teach English to non-English speakers.
2. Going to Cyprus to hang out.
3. Go to Greece or Cyprus to participate in a dig.
4. Pursue a certificate in Education here in Pinellas County.
Obviously, my mind has reset my goals since the beginning of the year. I'm a Gemini. What can I say? Only another Gemini can understand the torn mind of another Gemini. I keep finding things around the world, around the states, just around, that I want to do but I can never decide. Or I get scared and stop myself from going forward with something I would really like to do.
I suffer from situational anxiety. Trying something new usually scares the shit out of me. Not that I don't do new things. I make it a point to DO new things, just so I don't turn into a hermit. But I know I hold myself back....testing the waters a lot longer then I should before jumping in.
So, That's where I'm at...the edge of the ocean, waiting...for something, maybe someone, to push me in.
Possible thing for me to do this summer:
1. Going to Czech Republic to go to school to teach English to non-English speakers.
2. Going to Cyprus to hang out.
3. Go to Greece or Cyprus to participate in a dig.
4. Pursue a certificate in Education here in Pinellas County.
Obviously, my mind has reset my goals since the beginning of the year. I'm a Gemini. What can I say? Only another Gemini can understand the torn mind of another Gemini. I keep finding things around the world, around the states, just around, that I want to do but I can never decide. Or I get scared and stop myself from going forward with something I would really like to do.
I suffer from situational anxiety. Trying something new usually scares the shit out of me. Not that I don't do new things. I make it a point to DO new things, just so I don't turn into a hermit. But I know I hold myself back....testing the waters a lot longer then I should before jumping in.
So, That's where I'm at...the edge of the ocean, waiting...for something, maybe someone, to push me in.
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Cruisade Against Evil Vegetarian Unfriendly Restaurants Continues.......
I filed a formal complaint with Cracker Barrel. Now, I'm not one to complain but I am over it. I didn't leave any kind of contact information other then my home address. I didn't want some Cracker Barrel redneck calling me up asking why I complained and whatnot...So, once I hear from them, I'll let the 'blog' know what the result is.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Can I have a subsitute for the meat? NO! And you have to pay full price....
You better suck it up and like it!!!!
So, I hate going to Cracker Barrel but I do cause we have one right down the street and it's easily accessible from the house. I woke up this morning wanting to have some breakfast in a restaurant and groaned inwardly when I realized that it would end up being Cracker Barrel.
There is always a problem when I go to Cracker Barrel
See, Cracker Barrel has a problem with vegetarians. They don't like them. Every meal they have comes with meat and if you order a meal that has meat in it and you want to sub it with some non-meat product you are going to pay for that non-meat product. If you don't sub anything for that meat, you still pay full price for the meal. Eventhough you didn't get a full meal.
This has been my contention with Cracker Barrel for years. They can't seem to get it through their thick skulls that it is unfair that just because I don't want their stinky meat that I have to pay for it anyways. AND NO! I don't want to pay ala carte either cause then I am paying more for something that I thought I wouldn't be paying full price for in the first place.
The manager kept saying that paying ala carte came to more but my arguement was that I ordered this specific meal that was 7.19 and I did not get a part of that meal. Now since I didn't receive a portion of that meal, should I have to pay for all of it? NO, but they seem to not think in that mind set. I don't know if the buttons on the register are just programed for certain meals, and god borbid, they can't change anything about the meal.
I didn't even get an offer to sub cause then that would be an ala carte item and AN EXTRA CHARGE!!! I have never had this problem at any other restuarant...the nazi mind set of you must EAT YOUR MEAT...YOU CAN"T HAVE ANY PUDDING, IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT! HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT?
Am I in the wrong to not want to pay for something that I didn't buy?
So, I hate going to Cracker Barrel but I do cause we have one right down the street and it's easily accessible from the house. I woke up this morning wanting to have some breakfast in a restaurant and groaned inwardly when I realized that it would end up being Cracker Barrel.
There is always a problem when I go to Cracker Barrel
See, Cracker Barrel has a problem with vegetarians. They don't like them. Every meal they have comes with meat and if you order a meal that has meat in it and you want to sub it with some non-meat product you are going to pay for that non-meat product. If you don't sub anything for that meat, you still pay full price for the meal. Eventhough you didn't get a full meal.
This has been my contention with Cracker Barrel for years. They can't seem to get it through their thick skulls that it is unfair that just because I don't want their stinky meat that I have to pay for it anyways. AND NO! I don't want to pay ala carte either cause then I am paying more for something that I thought I wouldn't be paying full price for in the first place.
The manager kept saying that paying ala carte came to more but my arguement was that I ordered this specific meal that was 7.19 and I did not get a part of that meal. Now since I didn't receive a portion of that meal, should I have to pay for all of it? NO, but they seem to not think in that mind set. I don't know if the buttons on the register are just programed for certain meals, and god borbid, they can't change anything about the meal.
I didn't even get an offer to sub cause then that would be an ala carte item and AN EXTRA CHARGE!!! I have never had this problem at any other restuarant...the nazi mind set of you must EAT YOUR MEAT...YOU CAN"T HAVE ANY PUDDING, IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT! HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT?
Am I in the wrong to not want to pay for something that I didn't buy?
Sunday, January 6, 2008
A time of reflection...a time for reflection...huh, not really sure...let me think about that....
A million different things changed this year. Some of them were great, some of them were just plain horrifying but its come to the end of the year and so far I'm still here. Most of the time I'm barely holding my head above water but here nonetheless.
January 2007
Came home from Cyprus. A sad and happy event. For one, I knew I was going to have to come home and begin life after graduating college. Happy cause I was coming home. I look back now, and I probably should have just stayed. I could've made it. It would've been hard but it could've been done.
I don't remember anything major happening in this month....actually I don't remember much happening for the next couple months. Not until I moved out of the Pit of Despair that is my father's home....
May 2007
Moved in with Krys after she asked me to while in extreme pain getting a tattoo. I don't think she regrets the decision. We've been having some fun ever since.
July 2007
Went to a July 4th camping trip to Ginnie Springs with Krys. We had randomly met someone at Taco Night who said that they were going. We jokingly said that we were going to crash his camping trip. And we did. It was so fun. Met a lot of cool people. Some of who are good friends now.
Did a little something-something that I probably shouldn't have done but I did it anyways.
August 2007
Continued to drink regularly (and heavily) and do things that probably, in an overall manner, were not the best of choices but we all make choices. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad.
Went hiking up in Georgia with my Dad and Sis. Dad was awful and couldn't hike. I vowed to never go hiking with him again...On a lighter note, me and Sis kicked ass....
September 2007
Went to Raleigh to see Ben. Was over tired, drunk and pissed most of the four days. Krys didn't get laid and then the truck's cooling system got backed up and dumped water all over our feet. Oh!, and I almost forgot! Krys puked in the truck! That gave me hours of laughter! I can't believe that I almost forgot....that was probably the best part of the whole trip.
November 2007
Went to see Tegan and Sara at Janus Landing. BY MYSELF. What is wrong with you people. They are such great musicians. Someone should of gone. You all missed out.
L____ had his B-day celebration. The night before we all went out and tried to fit as many drugs and alcohol into one night as we could. Needless to say, I was puking in L____'s yard for about a half hour before I could move enough for Krys to take me home.
The day of his B-day they all went to Fort Desoto and took shrooms.
December 2007
Decided that having a little something-something with the kid that I grew up with since I was nine was a good idea.
For New Year's Eve we went to The Lobby down in downtown St Petersburg. Hadn't planned on ringing in the new year there but by eleven I was so drunk it didn't really matter. The night consisted of me boldly picking up my friends, making out with a girlfriend (Note to self: Stop that!), then while picking up another friend, falling through the front doors to the place with her on my chest. By some stroke of luck, I didn't hurt myself. Well, not badly.
Other things happened but those were the highlights.
This was my year, in a NUTSHELL. It was exciting and fun but I didn't get anything accomplished except for a bruised liver and occasionally a little AP*. But I'm looking forward to the New Year. I have some goals set and goals work for me. They are my motivation. They are what make it worth it for me to live that next year. And I'm sorry, but they aren't silly things like quit smoking, join a gym or lose ten pounds.
1.Get certified as a teacher
2.Go on a dig in the Greek Isles or neighboring area
3.Find a Master's program to get into
4.Lose another ten pounds (Ha, well, I have no excuse for this. I just write from my head. So, I guess it's on my list even if I do make fun of others with it on their list)
5.Get a different job
6.Start up pottery again
7.Establish more herbs in my garden
8.Volunteer occasionally, maybe at an art festival or the art school downtown
*For those of you who don't speak in Walshisms**, this is short for Alcohol Poisoning.
**A Walshism is a word or acronym that Heater, my Step Sis has made up. They usually have to do with alcohol, the affect of alcohol on the body or some type of alcohol related incident. Walshisms pop up everywhere. Keep an eye out for the asterisk.
January 2007
Came home from Cyprus. A sad and happy event. For one, I knew I was going to have to come home and begin life after graduating college. Happy cause I was coming home. I look back now, and I probably should have just stayed. I could've made it. It would've been hard but it could've been done.
Started at my job, which I still have...I have mixed feelings about that.
February 2007I don't remember anything major happening in this month....actually I don't remember much happening for the next couple months. Not until I moved out of the Pit of Despair that is my father's home....
May 2007
Moved in with Krys after she asked me to while in extreme pain getting a tattoo. I don't think she regrets the decision. We've been having some fun ever since.
Went to the beach a lot around this time. It's the summer, I live in Florida, It only seems appropriate that I spend my free time lounging away the hours. Carrie was dating a guy who had a boat and I went a couple times, until he became a bigger asshole then he already was.
June 2007
Threw a keg party for my birth day. Scottie and Erron showed. They were suppose to play but Tony bailed, so they came and drank my beer anyhow. Hadn't seen them in a while. Had a blast for my 27th.
My Step Bro got married over at Disney to his high school sweetheart. I took Krys as my date and Sis took Carrie. We had a blast. Free drinks the whole time, good food, and my whole family, including Uncle Craig and Aunt Tom, were there. Oh and the wedding was nice too....;)
July 2007 Went to a July 4th camping trip to Ginnie Springs with Krys. We had randomly met someone at Taco Night who said that they were going. We jokingly said that we were going to crash his camping trip. And we did. It was so fun. Met a lot of cool people. Some of who are good friends now.
Did a little something-something that I probably shouldn't have done but I did it anyways.
August 2007
Continued to drink regularly (and heavily) and do things that probably, in an overall manner, were not the best of choices but we all make choices. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad.
Went hiking up in Georgia with my Dad and Sis. Dad was awful and couldn't hike. I vowed to never go hiking with him again...On a lighter note, me and Sis kicked ass....
September 2007
Went to Raleigh to see Ben. Was over tired, drunk and pissed most of the four days. Krys didn't get laid and then the truck's cooling system got backed up and dumped water all over our feet. Oh!, and I almost forgot! Krys puked in the truck! That gave me hours of laughter! I can't believe that I almost forgot....that was probably the best part of the whole trip.
Went to the Jabil Pig Roast.
See, all the people that I met back at the July camping trip, work for Jabil, and now that I'm a friend (and a drunk), I get invited to all the functions. Open bar. Made out with the most gorgeous Spanish guy EVER...Long story but not blog worthy.
October 2007
Got a tattoo of some flowers from a vase that I saw at Ben's Mom's house. Had to do it in two stages. It turned out really great. Thanks! Thom from Monique's tattoo shop.
November 2007Went to see Tegan and Sara at Janus Landing. BY MYSELF. What is wrong with you people. They are such great musicians. Someone should of gone. You all missed out.
L____ had his B-day celebration. The night before we all went out and tried to fit as many drugs and alcohol into one night as we could. Needless to say, I was puking in L____'s yard for about a half hour before I could move enough for Krys to take me home.
The day of his B-day they all went to Fort Desoto and took shrooms.
December 2007
Decided that having a little something-something with the kid that I grew up with since I was nine was a good idea.
Went to Next Big Thing 7 with my Sis. It was fun but I had such a bad headache all day long that I really couldn't enjoy myself.
Went to three different company Christmas Parties and one Christmas house party (that was non-family related). Found Spanish guy at the Jabil Christmas party and proceeded to make out with him, AGAIN!!! What can a girl do. I had to end the year with a bang.
For New Year's Eve we went to The Lobby down in downtown St Petersburg. Hadn't planned on ringing in the new year there but by eleven I was so drunk it didn't really matter. The night consisted of me boldly picking up my friends, making out with a girlfriend (Note to self: Stop that!), then while picking up another friend, falling through the front doors to the place with her on my chest. By some stroke of luck, I didn't hurt myself. Well, not badly.
Other things happened but those were the highlights.
This was my year, in a NUTSHELL. It was exciting and fun but I didn't get anything accomplished except for a bruised liver and occasionally a little AP*. But I'm looking forward to the New Year. I have some goals set and goals work for me. They are my motivation. They are what make it worth it for me to live that next year. And I'm sorry, but they aren't silly things like quit smoking, join a gym or lose ten pounds.
1.Get certified as a teacher
2.Go on a dig in the Greek Isles or neighboring area
3.Find a Master's program to get into
4.Lose another ten pounds (Ha, well, I have no excuse for this. I just write from my head. So, I guess it's on my list even if I do make fun of others with it on their list)
5.Get a different job
6.Start up pottery again
7.Establish more herbs in my garden
8.Volunteer occasionally, maybe at an art festival or the art school downtown
*For those of you who don't speak in Walshisms**, this is short for Alcohol Poisoning.
**A Walshism is a word or acronym that Heater, my Step Sis has made up. They usually have to do with alcohol, the affect of alcohol on the body or some type of alcohol related incident. Walshisms pop up everywhere. Keep an eye out for the asterisk.
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