Let's get it out in the open that I am pretty reserved with my feelings and for me to put this out into space is going to kill me. But I need and outlet bigger then what I've used already.
I had someone tell me they loved me today.
That person has known me for 1 week. Count that. One, Uno, Ena, won, 1!!!!!!
It's not possible...psycho babble bullshit is what it is. How is it even possible that I got hooked up with such a psycho? I am too forgiving of people. I let this person in when I knew there were, ARE, things that I do not like about this person....I let it happen. I know I am talking like some kind of rape victim but that was what it was like. I was raped of my inablity to stop such a fucked up thing happen.
I am such an emotional vaccuum. I can sense all sorts of stuff (emotions) and they in turn effect my mood. So, someone else already has an influence over me. Whether they know it or not. They can sap my emotions right out of me and replace them with whatever they like.
So, in reality his 'quote unquote' love' for me was replacing my initional emotions towards the situation....
Or I could be just as psycho and this is all some kind of justification...
I highly doubt it though.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ummm... my advice....just let it go.
ReplyDeleteit might feel good... but that doesn't mean it IS good.
a hard lesson to learn...i am still in the process.
i just had a lil text-fest with one of the current (soon to be former) assholes.
I am really starting to think they are just not worth it.
not worth your thoughts, not worth your tears, not worth your body... really just plain WORTHLESS.
period, point blank.
I guess my feelings towards the situation have changed...
ReplyDeleteYou can tell I'm really drunk when I wrote this blog...
I shouldn't be drunk, emotional and around a computer...it's just an awful mix.